Women at War - Two Pieces in the New York Times

Two great articles in a series called "Women at Arms" in the New York Times, one today and one yesterday, have highlighted the roles women play in Iraq and Afghanistan: GI Jane Breaks the Combat Barrier and Living and Fighting Alongside Men, and Fitting In.

Each examines a different area of how our military has changed in recent years. Some of the changes are cultural. We, in the West, are used to women serving in the armed forces, just as we take it for granted that women work outside the home. (That's not the case for the Iraqis.)

Other changes have been forced upon female soldiers, and upon the Army and Marine Corps. The nature of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have obliterated the notion of "the front line": every time you leave the base, you're on the front line. And there is also much demand for women to perform certain operations, such as searching Iraqi women at checkpoints.

They also examine the challenges faced by female service members. There are times when they can feel very alone. And there are times when they feel very unsafe. It is an unfortunate truth that women in the United States military have to protect themselves not only from the enemy, but also from the soldiers along whose side they fight. Sexual harassment and sexual assault haven't disappeared from the battlefield, in spite of the gains we've made.

As a military husband, I found both articles very informative. Of course, I have to admit that I'm glad, once again, that my wife is in the Navy.

We're in the News

Terri Barnes over at Stars and Stripes has been really supportive of military husbands. She's written several pieces focusing on us. Last month, she published a couple more items, and we wanted to share them here:

From Stars and Stripes: These Dads Happy to Stay Home

From the Spouse Calls blog: Dads Love Being at Home

Thanks Terri!

Mr. Mom (Really? Again?)

"Mr. Military Mom"

Does this bother anyone else as much as it bothers me? Can't we just leave this behind? It's not that it somehow offends me as a man. It offends me because it's trite and lazy.

Which is too bad, because it's a good article. It's relevant to Fathers' Day Weekend, and it's accurate in its portrayal of the complexities in the lives of dual-military families.

A typical day for Darrell starts with a 6 a.m. wake-up, daycare by 7 a.m., work from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., daycare immediately following, home for dinner, play time with the boys, read a book with the boys then put them to bed by 8 p.m.

After Ty and Max are tucked in, then Darrell has a chance to do housework, pay the bills and plan the upcoming weekend. By the time everything is done, Darrell heads to bed by 1 a.m., leaving him with about five hours of sleep before it starts all over in the morning.

Along with the everyday routine, Darrell said he and the boys are involved in various activities such as school events, boy scouts, city council meetings, the American Legion and the VFW to keep them extra busy.

"There is too much going on," he said.

I don't think we've heard from any husbands from dual-military marriages here at the site. I have a tremendous respect for those families.

Modern Men

This website's founders gathered early this week for a strategy session that involved, mostly, drinking good beer (some homebrew, some Bells, some Arrogant Bastard, some Dogfishhead), and watching, mesmerized, as their toddlers worked out how to share their snacks.

Many good ideas were hatched. Keep one eye on this website at all times for additional information.

Anyway, at one point during the three-day event, they conducted a walking meeting through John's neighborhood, pushing their respective toddlers in their respective strollers, and, during this meeting, as they strolled down a street with a dog park on one side and very nice old houses on the other, a gentleman of late middle age called out to them.

"The modern man!" he said with a grin.

This observation filled at least one of our founders with a strange sense of pride, as though we military husbands are pioneers, of some sort (which, I suppose we are).

I'm tempted to end this post with some kind of Dead Poets' Society flourish about all of us being "modern men" married to "modern women," but that seems sort of obvious, doesn't it? And sort of cheesy?

But we are on the vanguard of a social shift. And I'm glad at least one person out there views the shift as something to run toward, headlong, rather than something to flinch away from or resist.

Welcome

Welcome to Milhusbands.com, a community for military husbands, fiancés, and boyfriends. We're still getting things organized, so you'll probably notice some changes around here during the coming weeks. One of the great benefits to using Square Space is that those changes are really simple to make. So keep checking back to see what new features and content we have coming your way.

We're excited to be part of this community, and we can't wait to see how it grows.